Love Runs Deep
by Demolitionxlover77
Summary: Sequel/follow up after In Love and War. Tristan continues running from her problems and creating new ones for herself. With Eric in tow, will anywhere be safe for Sherriff Northman and the Ice Princess? Will Kayden continue to thwart Tristan's efforts to rule sovereignly or will his goals be met in the end?
1. Chapter 1

Blinded from the blast of fire through Eric's front window, I stumbled into the counter. Spilling my hot chocolate across the counter and down the cabinets, I slipped on the slickness while feeling for Eric beside me. Taking me by the arm he led me to the garage. I shook my head and motioned upstairs, to where my papers were, along with the crown and scepter. He sped up the stairs and returned a minute later with most of the important items in my bag, and with fresh clothes for me to change into.

I had kept the fire at bay for as long as possible waiting for him, but I was wearing out. We stepped through the door and slid into his Corvette as the door opened. I would miss my car if we weren't able to come back for it, but it was a small thing to lose compared to my life.

"Where is Pam?" I asked Eric, as he sped along the private street toward the gate. As the guard on duty noticed his car the gate began to open. Eric must have called upstairs, multitasking to save time and get us to safety.

"I sent her to Fangtasia after our consummation," he answered flatly. "We're going there now, and then we will plan on what to do next."

I couldn't argue, I had no real knowledge of the area or what would benefit us through this, so I sat quietly. I was still shaking slightly from the exertion of the night, and afraid of what had caused everything to turn around so suddenly. There were plenty of answers for what had happened, it could have been Freyda in a fit of jealous rage. It could have been cult members from the Fellowship of the Sun group with a pointed hatred of vampires. My most likely theory, however, was that my brother had found me, found us.

The one person in the universe that could strike fear into me without even being near me, and he was after me personally. Now he had multiple reasons for chasing me down, I had finally secured the throne of my home planet and had someone to rule by my side and protect me. These were all things my brother, Kayden had wanted and was unable to have. Yes, I do mean my brother had a burning desire for me, body and soul. It wasn't one of misplaced or inappropriate love though, it was one of hate and impudence. He wanted to corrupt me in every way possible to tear down my soul and make me helpless and weak.

Never again would I allow him that power over me, but I couldn't help trembling at the thought of facing him now. I was newly crowned and appropriated by my marriage only a short while before this. Although I seemed young to have these responsibilities thrust upon me, I was more than old enough to handle them, and I had run from them for too long.

As we arrived at Fangtasia, I quickly threw on my clothes in the car, leaving my sleepwear in the front seat. We had parked behind the club in the employee parking and were quickly swept in through the back door. I hadn't been into the club before, having only been in the state for about a month. The maze of back halls for liquor deliveries and other items led through to the front, but we turned before hitting the dance floor and loud music.

The hallway that led to Eric's office was small and dark, but the office was everything I had come to expect from him. A rich wood desk adorned the center of the back wall, and a low sleek couch sat against another wall. File cabinets and bookcases were on the other walls filled with books and knick-knacks. Behind the desk was an ancient sword hung with care above the seat that Eric now took. I had been deposited on the couch and Pam had come in and perched on the edge of Eric's desk while he typed furiously on his keyboard. The flurry of activity as we arrived had slowed and a few vampires flitted in and out of the office, delivering messages and information to either Pam or Eric. They openly stared at me, a new piece for Eric's collection is what I assumed the thought of me. I didn't care.

I openly stared back at them and quickly stopped receiving looks. I thought about what actions I would need to take, if I should contact the Elders or if they knew what had happened and were formulating a plan to assist me. I wouldn't be safe in Louisiana anymore, I probably wouldn't be safe in the country either. I had yet to travel the globe entirely, but I had a feeling I would start soon, but not for leisure or fun.

I could feel the tension as it built, a tight knot in my stomach, churning and undulating through me as Eric fretted over small details and large decisions. I hadn't paid much mind to the conversation in his office until the door was shut and it was only Pam, myself, and Eric left. I gathered that Eric was leaving Pam to run the nightclub in his absence and should he perish, as the full and outright owner, to do with it as she pleased.

I knew it was upsetting for her, and for Eric as well, but I admired his foresight considering the circumstances. I hated putting his family, his loved ones at risk because I was destined for something great that I hadn't ever wanted. The only family I had left I would never claim voluntarily and was determined to strip me of my power and dignity when they got the chance.

My brother, Kayden, wasn't the only person I was related to still living. My sister, Adria, was alive too, a fact I had kept from the Council of Elders during my rise to power. As far as I was concerned, she was no longer my sister, and whatever bond we had forged before our parents had fled, with me in tow, had evaporated from existence. It broke my heart thinking of how she had been changed if she even had a spark of her old self left. It wasn't something I could change overnight, or possibly at all. I had to move past her and focus on the people I had sworn to protect and help thrive, the people thousands of lightyears away with no clue they were still in danger.

"Tristan," Eric said to turn me from my thoughts. "Please, come sit with me."

I stood and glided to him, sitting on his lap at an angle in front of the screen so we could both see. Before me was a travel site and bookings for two, first class from New Orleans to Stockholm, with a stop in Newark midway. There was also lodging for us at world-class resorts and travel destinations in the country.

"Sweden?" I asked breathlessly. "Glass cabins to see the Northern Lights?"

"Yes," Eric said cautiously. "Do you like it?"

"I do, it looks beautiful," I responded earnestly. Even if we were running for our lives, we would be running in style. I should have known Eric would find the best place to hide, without hiding at all.

"Good, we're leaving first thing tomorrow evening. In the meantime, let us enjoy the rest of the night, my Queen," Eric finished, shutting off the screen and sliding me off his leg teasingly.

The phone rang and he picked it up immediately. It was the police calling to inform him about the damage to his home. He fibbed and made up an excuse about having been at work all night and the security guard at the gate had "accidentally" erased the footage of our getaway earlier. The damage was severe and they suggested finding other lodgings for the day. Whatever else they said, promises of finding the person or persons responsible, investigating further, I didn't hear.

Pam shuffled me out of the office and toward the bar, where a vampire provided me with alcohol immediately. Out in the rest of the club, I was surprised at the amount of people here. Many of them were women of all ages, dressed in varying degrees of fancy. Some were truly made up like I had been earlier that night, others just looked whorishly awful. There were a good deal of men too, there to boast about living on the edge and being dangerous for going to a vampire bar. It was comedic but superficial and I lost interest in people watching after the third drunken co-ed had tried, unsuccessfully, to detain Eric on his way to the bar where I still sat.

For all the dirty looks I was getting, I was thrilled that he found me so important, and fascinating. I had no reason to believe he had true feelings for me, I wasn't even sure of the feelings I had myself. We had been pushed together by a cosmic force, and for whatever purpose, we were stuck together until I found a way to rule my people without a secondary power at my side. It was something I had been fighting for since I found I would have to rule, or die disgracefully to be free of my wretched brother's plans.

The only trouble was I needed Eric beside me to rule until I could change the laws regarding a single ruler's sovereignty. If I didn't accomplish that soon, I might not get a chance to. I wasn't opposed to growing closer and forming a meaningful relationship with Eric, but I was wary. We both had our baggage and problems to face, alone and together, but if it came naturally I wouldn't fight it.

Eric slipped a hand around my waist and pulled me off the stool I was perched on. I moved closer to him, my drink forgotten and we slipped onto the dance floor. I wasn't much of a dancer, but Eric led me around the floor effortlessly. We maneuvered from fast and relentless to slow and sweet with the music's tempo. I clung for dear life when we whirled around the rest of the dancers and I still held fast as Eric directed me to the back of the club again.


	2. Chapter 2

As he backed me down the hallway that led to his office, Eric picked me up, a first since the distinct change in our relationship and carried me to the couch. He flitted to the door and locked it for the illusion of privacy, and to all the humans, it was private. Eric sat next to me and looked me over, famished and dying for a second taste. Desire filled in his eyes while he traced patterns on my legs with his incredibly long fingers.

He moved his hands achingly slow up my thighs and to my waist. From my waist to the swell of my breasts, teasing a nipple to a semi-erect state. I let out a soft moan and Eric sucked in air unnecessarily. His hand moved up across my neck to cradle my jaw as he leaned over me and kissed me until I was breathless. His large form seemed too big for this small piece of furniture, but I enjoyed the closeness of our bodies and seeing him in such a state. I pulled him further on top of me and wrapped my arms around his neck, playing with his blond locks that fell in a curtain around us as he kissed me again.

My hips met his as he fell into the moment with me, his free hand searing a path across me that fed my own passion and desire. Parting my legs I slid further down on the couch until Eric hovered over me. One leg was between mine and the other was locked on the floor. Our kiss broke and he looked me over, seeing my heightened arousal and enjoying the view. He opened the connection between us that I had forgotten about, and it all hit me at once. He was turned on by the sight of me, he felt giddy as a teenager on a third date, and he wanted nothing more than to have me on the couch that second. Lucky for him I wanted the same thing.

Untwining my hands from his hair I pulled off my tank top from earlier, and undid the button on my jeans. I moved to the bottom hem of Eric's shirt and slid it over his broad shoulders. Eric's hands massaged my breasts over the lacy outline of my bra and my fingers fumbled over the waistband of his jeans, undoing the button and sliding the zipper down. Eric slid a hand down my bare stomach and unzipped my jeans helping me slide out of them as I removed his.

Our lips met again and our tongues danced between us as he held me to him and maneuvered himself beneath me, taking my bra off in the process. The royal blue boxers I had seen while divesting him of his clothes had disappeared into the pile on the floor next to us. The only barrier between us now was my clean, white underwear. Laying on Eric and feeling his member twitch with every moan and sigh spurred my hands to slid down and remove the underwear myself, but Eric beat me to it.

His long arms wrapped around me, one hand cupping my butt and intertwining with my panties. He grazed the back of my leg as he slid them down and off of me while keeping me hovered just above his deliciously throbbing member. The anticipation was building and made me dizzy with want. I pulled back from another intense kiss to look Eric in the eyes. They gleamed with desire and content, passion and anticipation. They mirrored mine, but I could feel the doubt within me, nibbling like a mouse at a hole in a wall.

I wasn't sure continuing was the best thing for either of us, despite being drawn together more permanently now. I ignored the doubt and instead embraced the actions a queen would take, and if Eric noticed my conflict, he didn't say a word. I kept his gaze as my fingers traced along the planes of his chest and stomach, strong flat surfaces that were beautiful and enticing to look at. I slowly lowered myself onto him and saw the moment he felt us connect, his eyes wide, pupils dilated in ecstasy.

I didn't remember him being this large, but shock can change anyone's perception. I was going to treat this like it was the consummation of our bond, instead of a second helping for the night. As I slid down him I could feel the space inside me stretch to accommodate, a feeling unique in itself, and intriguing to me. I had heard many girls and women talk about their lovers and the ups and downs of men heavily endowed, but I'm sure none of them had experienced Eric before.

At the bottom of his shaft, I paused to let my breathing and body catch up to the feeling emanating from within me. Eric wriggled under me, and it sent shivers throughout me as I was caught off guard. I let out a small noise that drove him mad, and he began to move me himself, hands firmly around my hips as he thrust upward into me again and again.

I may have climaxed multiple times, or the entire span of our lovemaking could have been one giant orgasm. I wasn't sure, didn't care, I just wanted to do it all over again. I brought myself to lie beside Eric tucked neatly beside him on the couch, and sighed. I was high on endorphins and the feelings he was sending me through our bond, I couldn't have found a better way to end the night. A soft knock on the door interrupted our moment, and Eric rose, kissing my neck softly before handing me an oversized shirt to slip over myself. I sat up on the couch, trying to become small and blend in, but with no luck. Instead, I pulled my knees to my chest underneath the shirt and wrapped my arms around myself.

Pam walked in and gave a small sniff in my direction. Her eyebrows rose and a smirk crept onto her face that was gone just as quickly and she launched into telling Eric about how the club had done tonight. All the other employees had gone home already and Pam would be leaving too. As she left, Eric sauntered back to me, hips swaying and his already hardening shaft greeting me. I giggled and took him into my mouth as we started another round before the sun claimed him from me.

The day at Fangtasia was incredibly boring, waiting for Eric to rise, so I cleaned a little and re-stacked some papers in his office from the night before. When he woke we would be leaving for New Orleans and our flight to Sweden. I was excited and nervous about leaving the country. I would get to see a different part of the world than the corner I'd resigned myself to, and we may get time to know each other better. I was still worried about what had happened the night before at Eric's home.

Knowing that someone was looking into it, and doing it myself were two very different things, and to run from my brother again was deflating. I wanted to stop and face him, but my position and title were precarious at best. There was no reason for me to endanger myself, or my consort-king to prove I could defeat my brother. I had to be patient. I had to make the best move possible. It was killing me to be doing nothing but waiting and running.

Earlier than I expected, Eric was up and had his day man shopping for appropriate international travel attire. By six p.m. There was someone walking through the back doors of the club burdened by shopping bags full of clothes and other accessories. The styles varied from casual and athletic to cocktail and formal wear. I wasn't sure how long we would be abroad, but I wasn't planning on attending any parties if I could help it. The man who had walked in separated the bundles into clothing for me and clothing for Eric then followed him into his office.

I watched Eric's form walk down the hallway until I couldn't see anymore, admiring the sweatpants that clung to his body and the tight tank top stretching over the muscles I was still learning. I turned back to the clothes spread out across the bar and chose a few items. He had to guess my bra size and surprisingly, the one I put on fit well. I added a camisole and tank top together over tight blue jeans and ankle boots with a thin sweater and leather jacket. The rest of the clothes I packed into the luggage that had been brought in as well, and pulled myself onto a bar stool.

I fiddled with a small bag I had kept out and heard footsteps from the hallway. Eric was walking across the floor toward me with a look of mild annoyance on his face, but nothing that would have me too alarmed. A glance up and down my body and the look of approval on his face had me beaming. I should have been more concerned about our travel plans, what would happen here, and how to handle things if we were followed, but at that moment, I was unencumbered by terrible thoughts or fears. I was happy and exploring a new part of myself instead of hiding from it. I was hoping this would last.

Even with the added height of the bar stool, Eric still towered over me and my small form. He leaned down and kissed my forehead, pulling me to his chest and breathing in the scent of my hair. I wrapped my hands around his back interlacing my fingers together and stared up at him. I was waiting for his opinion, for him to run the show, instead of making choices for myself. It was a habit I couldn't afford, but one I would indulge anyway. I had shied away from power as long as I could remember, and having it thrust onto me as my responsibility wasn't going to make me any more eager to use it, or even become familiar with it.

It could have been the look in my eyes, or the feelings passing between us that I had difficulty keeping track of, but I could feel the change between Eric taking charge, and leaving decisions up to me. He asked if we should leave as soon as it was full dark, or if we should try for earlier just after sunset, with the twilight still lighting the way. He listed the benefits of each and the difficulties we could have with either. I knew he wasn't convinced that my brother was behind the firebomb through his window, but he wanted to distract me and get me away so I could re-center or focus, or whatever.

I decided we should leave in between sunset and first dark, where there was less of a chance the sun would still catch Eric and still enough time to get us to the airport early. We drove with music on in the background until New Orleans and the way Eric drove, I was surprised we didn't get multiple tickets for speeding and reckless driving. I was working up the courage to talk about our relationship and how it had changed but I also wanted to enjoy the silence and solitude he was providing for me. The change in our relationship was rather instantaneous and there would be plenty for us to disagree on, but for now, it was a relief from the normal chaos that consumed our lives before.

Walking through the terminal and onto the plane after security clearance and checking our passports was a new experience for me. I hadn't stepped foot on a plane before, and being on one now was surreal and exciting. Eric had provided me with a fake passport and identity because it was something I had never needed. The Canadian border was easy to cross and had minimal security, so I hadn't worried about being caught and deported on my way through the Great White North.

As we took our seats I told him about the travels I had made across the country. Starting with most of California, and where my family was from, up the coast through Oregon and Washington and up to Alaska for a short time. I told him how I had explored all the things I could do with terms as generic as possible in case there were prying ears, but most of the first class was asleep so I got to elaborate some.

"So you can actually pull water from the molecular structure of anything it is contained in," Eric questioned me for what seemed the hundredth time.

"Yes, that was what I did the first night you and Sookie discovered who and what I was," I told him calmly.

"That was rather fun, you straddling me and pinning me down. Aside from you trying to dismember me molecule by molecule," Eric said jokingly as he turned to look at me better in the seat beside mine. My cheeks flushed and he pulled me to him and pressed his lips on mine gently. It wasn't passionate or forceful, just an affirmation that he enjoyed my company now, and that he wanted to get to know the person I was beginning to show him.

As he released me I smiled and said, "We'll have plenty of time for fun, once we get where we're going." I winked and continued to tell him about different parts of the country I'd been to and places I had wanted to go before discovering my hidden identity. The dreams of a normal teenage girl seemed so inconsequential compared to the problems I would now face, as a new queen and ruler of a planet. One that was so far removed from the one I had called home for the last seventeen years, it almost existed in its own universe instead of the one we knew about.

We transferred flights around two in the morning and flew directly to Stockholm on Anubis Air to ensure there were no mishaps during landing should the sun rise as we disembarked. I had to sit alone this time because Eric was put into a metal coffin for travel instead of staying seated with me. As much as I wanted him with me, I knew he couldn't be in the sun so I relented and finally found a magazine and a movie to entertain me while we were in motion.

The flight wasn't that long, but I was still able to read the magazine cover to cover and watch an entire movie. I contemplated starting another movie or picking up a new magazine but I decided to rest while I still could. I didn't know what landing in Sweden would mean, if transport would be arranged for us or if I would be responsible for the two of us in a foreign country with a language barrier. My sleep was fitful and I was more tired upon waking than I had been when I fell asleep.

Eric had the foresight I could only hope to emulate, and had arranged for transportation for both of us to a less popular but still reputable vampire hotel. The car was there to pick us up at the tarmac. I shouldn't have been that surprised, but I supposed money talked. As we were ferried to an area that had class and style but wasn't surrounded by other popular tourist traps, I watched behind the darkly tinted glass as people stared. They couldn't see me, but I could see them, and the anonymity was pleasant but it also made me realize how alone we were now. The only safety net that I possessed was lying in a coffin beside me, inert and unable to defend either of us during the daylight hours. I resolved myself to train each day with a new purpose, to protect myself, and my newfound king and bedmate from any threat.

Pulling up to the valet door to the lobby I could see a posh and sophisticated interior with dark, rich colors. It wasn't inherently inviting, but it didn't make me feel unwelcome either. As I approached the counter and retrieved the paperwork Eric had given me before boarding I noticed there were fewer people working during daylight hours than I had expected.

Most of them were security of some sort, while others were cleaners for the human areas of the hotel. I checked us in, made sure the room was safe and sent the bell hops on their way with a nice tip. Eric's coffin was beside the bed and our luggage had been moved into the small foyer of our suite. Room did no justice to describe the opulence afforded us with Eric's money. There was a spacious bathroom with a shower and separate Jacuzzi tub, a full kitchen for me and a mini bar stocked with alcohol and bottled blood, an entertainment room, and the bedroom with a king sized bed.

As impressive as this was, I would have to entertain myself for the rest of the day, since it was only mid-morning and Eric would be out for quite a while. I decided to start by going over some of the paperwork that had stayed with me throughout the trip. I read and reread over the laws regarding how power passed from generation to generation but I was still at a loss for my specific situation. In the long reign, my father's family had there had never been an instance where there was not a chosen recipient and arranged marriage to solidify the legitimacy of the claim to rule. Although I had a legitimate marriage and claim, I was still worried that it would be seen as the antics of a spoiled child seeking any means to justify their decision instead of a claim to my birthright.

I also worried that I wouldn't be able to get out of this marriage should the time or opportunity arise because I would in turn forfeit my right to rule. I intended to change that, because as willing as Eric was appearing, I could tell that it would take more of a toll on him than he let on. He belonged with the people he had carefully selected over his long life, not thrust into someone else's political and personal nightmares as a means to an end. I wanted to gain any bit of knowledge I could from him while we were together, but I didn't want to pressure him into helping me and I couldn't decide which instinct I would give in to.

After hours of pouring over the documents I held, I called for room service and ate a light meal before taking a nap. I hadn't managed to get much rest while we drove or on the planes and had finally exhausted myself. I let sleep claim me after I laid out clothes for myself and Eric on the couch in the entertainment area.


	3. Chapter 3

I woke to hear Eric on the phone, probably with Pam. He was speaking Swedish, or that's what I thought it was. I couldn't understand it and I knew he and Pam were the only ones who spoke in that dialect as I had heard them using it before we left for New Orleans. I hadn't decided to get out of the bed yet and was considering drifting off again when I heard Sookie's name. I wouldn't say I went on high alert, but I was no longer tired.

Sighing to myself, then realizing Eric had probably heard, I pushed the covers down and slung my feet out of bed. I had opted for extra short shorts and a cami to sleep in because I hadn't wanted to search for anything else. As unaware as Eric's day man might be, he still afforded me comfortable clothes, not just the high taste and fashion Pam and Eric both seemed to thrive on.

I walked to the bar and grabbed a juice without looking, opened it and took a swig. I didn't swallow and checked the bottle. White grapefruit juice, ick. I made a disgusted face and spat it out in the sink, grabbing a cranberry juice instead and drank to cleanse my palate. Eric walked over, still speaking another language and kissed the top of my head lightly and threw out the juice I hadn't wanted.

He had been pacing the floor of the bedroom and entertainment area before I had gotten up and resumed it just as quickly as he had detoured. I watched from the bar and decided to practice the skills only I had. I turned the faucet to create a stream of water that was steady but slow, and I wove it around the sink and the fixtures, concentrating as my design became more intricate and difficult to follow.

In the middle of a twist to return the water to a normal stream instead of around and throughout the room Eric came up behind me and pulled me against him. I lost concentration and let out a small yelp before trying to control the water again and smack him with it like a wooden spoon. He chuckled and spun me around to look at me. The lapse in my concentration had created puddles across the bar and floor surrounding it. Splatters covered both of us from top to bottom and I smiled at that. Eric stared at me before he spoke, and while his gaze was intense, his words were more concerning.

"Pamela called," he told me. I nodded for him to continue, I was already aware he had been talking with Pam on the phone. "She informed me that the cause is still undetermined for the fire before we left, and that Sookie has chosen to involve her great grandfather in destroying my credibility as a business owner."

I stared at him for a moment just processing, and blurted out, "I thought the portals to Faerie were closed?" Eric nodded solemnly and let out a sigh.

"She must have found some loophole through her own magic to call him here to this realm and to reopen the portals," Eric voiced. I didn't care what she had done, I wanted to know if and when it would affect me and my purpose for staying here on this Earth.

"What does that really mean for you? As I understand it, you are cleaner than most family run businesses because of the regulations put on vampire owned establishments, not only from the U.S. government but from your own infrastructure as well," I directed at Eric.

"That is true, but Faeries can be tricky, and they can persuade people without the use of a glamour," he said flatly. The tone continued with his next words, "I believe she may have wanted her great grandfather to step in on her behalf, and convince me to unencumber myself so she can have me for herself."

I laughed out loud and must have surprised Eric, because he rose an eyebrow and let me go to my fit of laughter. I composed myself as best I could and thought on what he had said. Would Sookie really involved the fey in a stupid quarrel over a lost lover? Hadn't she spurned him for her idea of independence and freedom from the supernatural to pursue a life without Eric's influence specifically?

I had fey I could contact and ways to utilize their powers and forces if I needed, but they were states away from Louisiana, and I didn't trust them enough to truly be helpful. They were different faeries than Sookie, and I didn't know if they could help me, let alone if they would choose to. I would deal with this myself, because like many things I was finding out, I was the common thread and I had to get myself out of the mess before it became someone else's problem.

"If she wanted you for herself, why didn't she fight for you when you came to tell her you were leaving? Why didn't she show you that you were important to her instead of turning you away because you were allowing her to live the life she chose? I can't understand someone who would throw such a gift away," I said shaking my head because words escaped me.

"I don't know," Eric replied. He was standing statue still across from the bar and just feet away. I walked to him slowly and wrapped my arms around him.

"I know that this has been difficult for more than just me," I started. "I am working my hardest to find a solution that will work for both of us, but I can't fight on all sides."

Eric nodded, lost in his own thoughts. He hadn't really been this way before, and I was wondering how I had broken him. I didn't want to be something difficult for him to deal with where he wished he could be rid of me, even though I was trying to do exactly that with him. I looked up and rubbed my nose along his jaw and planted kisses down his neck to his collar bone. Still he didn't move. I was about to unbutton the rest of his shirt when his hands stopped me.

I smiled up at him until I caught the look on his face. Stormy eyes and a confused grim line where his lips were had replaced the smirk that usually graced his face, even in dire circumstances. I stepped back and he let me go, moving to grab bottled blood to warm up and drink for his meal. I could have offered myself up but I didn't feel like I would even be considered.

Was he thinking about Sookie and how she was trying to win him back? Was he really so enthralled with her that he couldn't even give this a chance? He was going to move to Oklahoma with another vampire not just to save her life, but to get away from her selfish and prudish outlooks, no matter how changed they had become. I let the feeling wash over me and settle in the pit of my stomach.

It was exactly what I wanted, but it wasn't, either. I had been looking for a way out, and ensuring Eric wasn't interested in me would no longer be a concern, but even if I found or created a law that named me sovereign in my own right, I wasn't sure I would use it. I had been using Eric to get what I wanted, and what was wrong with him doing the same thing? He had told me he wanted to stay with Sookie over getting married to some young but powerful vampire, but he knew she would have killed Sookie the moment he crossed the state line if he hadn't ensured her safety.

So maybe he did care for her, even love her, but was he really just that good at pretending? With everyone? I felt cold and alone and smaller than I had since discovering who I really was and what I was up against. My brother was cruel and in many ways, Eric had mirrored his behavior, just not the physical aspect of his intentions or affections. I looked at myself in the mirror above the bar and felt dirty.

Before Eric could ask what was wrong and repair the damage he had created in a matter of minutes, I grabbed the clothes I had laid out and headed into the bathroom. I slid the lock home and turned the water on steaming the mirror and blurring my appearance. As hot as the water was on my skin, it was nothing compared to the burns I had suffered before and I welcomed the prickling, burning sensation eroding my skin and tearing into my insecurities.

I wept quietly because even over the Jetstream of water, I was sure Eric would be able to hear, and finally stopped trying to wash away the feelings I couldn't rid myself of. Shame, guilt and stupefied horror vied for the option to be displayed on my face. Instead I plastered a look of cool confidence I didn't feel on, and dried my body and hair before dressing.

I hadn't planned on doing my make-up and I certainly hadn't counted on taking hours to compose myself, but when I emerged I knew the second Eric noticed. It wasn't simply because I had been locked in the bathroom for so long, but the whole of my appearance. In a vivid blue cocktail dress that hit mid-thigh, and curls I hadn't thought would hold, I picked out stilettos I was afraid to walk in and a midnight clutch to complete my look.

The dress was tight fitting to put it nicely, and I felt like I would make a fool of myself before I could get to the door. As I reached for the handle, Eric opened the door and kept his eyes glued to me. He had spiffed himself up as well and was wearing a nice suit that could go either way, add a tie and jacket he could be fancy and leave a few buttons undone he could pass for casual. He made it look effortless and I hated him for it. Before I walked out in front of him I turned to ask him what had been on my mind during my self-induced solitary confinement.

"Do you love her?" I waited a moment for his response, but only registered a cold stare and frown as he understood who I referred to. He waited a minute longer then sighed and asked, "Must we do this now?"

I shook my head haughtily and walked as fast as my legs would carry me in four inch heels. Eric followed silently and the elevator ride was beyond awkward. As we made our way to the doors where a street that bustled with activity awaited he grabbed my arm and turned me to face him.

"What have I done wrong here? He asked me. I glared and pulled my arm away. He tried again, but less exaggerated so people wouldn't stop and stare. "Tristan?"

I stopped walking and turned around. Before I lost my nerve I said, "You did nothing wrong, and I have no right to feel the way I do, but Eric I'm ashamed of myself because I bought what you were selling. I should have known better and that is all on me." He looked at me, abashed and gazed around the lobby. No one had heard my outburst, or they had thought better about stepping in for me. "I don't want to think about this right now, I just want to lose myself for a few hours, if it catches your fancy," I spat at Eric.

He went from frustrated to icy in mere seconds, and I wasn't about to care. He called the driver, and in a flood of Swedish asked for us to be taken to a dance club for the evening. A silent car ride, and directions to pick us up when the club was closed in the early morning were given as I stepped onto the curb. I caught stares and was escorted to the front of the line where even the people complaining about waiting were speechless as Eric and I walked past.


	4. Chapter 4

I found a corner to sulk in and Eric went to the bar for a drink of his own. A boy carrying empty glasses came by and asked if I wanted anything and because I was so far gone into my mood, I ordered a bourbon something or other and waited for my drink. Eric looked just as miserable as he came back with his drink and mine in hand. I took it less than graciously and downed it faster than Eric expected.

Instead of waiting for another person to come by, Eric braved the crowd and went to retrieve another drink for us both. It took him much longer, and I was beginning to wonder if he had left me to fend for myself when I noticed someone eyeing me from across the floor. He was tall, dark and handsome the way Eric couldn't be, despite exuding the same charm and grace Eric displayed regularly.

I couldn't tell from my seat what he looked like, and surrounded by women and girls of all ages, I couldn't be bothered to care. When one of them moved aside enough for me to sneak a glance at him, the familiarity was surprisingly welcome. The gentleman made a face that had all the women swooning despite his choice to leave their confines and started across the dance floor.

He moved quicker than most people and the closer he got the surer I became of who it was that had sighted me, in a Swedish nightclub, of all places. The shadows didn't glance off him, instead, they surrounded him and became a part of the space he occupied, even in movement.

As he stepped in front of me I slid off my seat and stood to invite him into my personal space. He cocked his head at me in question and gave a smirk, appreciating my outfit and the boldness I displayed in his presence.

"Seth sends his regards," he began. I had known he might have news of my brother, but I hadn't been hopeful enough to ask. I nodded, not daring to speak quite yet. "Would you care to dance, Highness?" he asked me, offering his hand to me and allowing me to choose. I slipped my hand into his and followed him onto the dance floor.

I didn't care that it might make Eric jealous, I didn't care that everyone would see me, or that the women in the corner were madder than they should be that I was chosen instead of one of them. I felt a giddy, elated feeling enter me and I knew the man I danced with was trying to ease the distress that he must have seen from the moment I walked into the club.

"Iri," I said quietly, "It's nice to see you here. When did you leave Huntsdale?" It was something I had wondered but wasn't sure I wanted the answer to.

"Niall sent me away, said I needed to tie up some of my business transactions before he would see me again." He gave a harsh laugh, "I'm sure he didn't mean for me to be gone this long, but I heard tell you were leaving the country and I thought I would check in on you, report back to that dear brother of yours on how you're holding up."

I nodded and drooped my head only to have his fingers guide my chin up and toward his mouth. If I let him kiss me, there was the possibility he would take away the feelings that had been eating me up all night, but I might also lose myself a little too much. That was the double edged gift I had to decide if I would accept, because unlike Sookie, and her Faery family, Irial had been king of the Court of Nightmares, the Dark Court, and these fey were vicious and cruel in ways that sometimes surpassed my brother.

Worse yet, since his lover Niall had taken the throne, Irial had once again become Gancanagh, a type of faery that is addictive to mortals. I was more than mortal but not completely immune to his touch. He could feed himself from my negative emotions, and in return give me a peace and clarity that I felt I was lacking, but for the time we touched and embraced, I would be privy to his will, he would have dominion over me.

The thought sent a thrill through me and even though I didn't trust him, I wanted the release of my inhibitions. I wanted to be alone with myself for a moment and not worry about things I couldn't change and focus on making myself happy. I had lost track of that through my travels and my scares each time I had to relocate.

He had held me on the precipice, able to choose my fate and as I thought _he really is Sin in a suit,_ I pressed my lips to his and let him do the rest. His mouth covered mine completely, and I knew this was a game for him, so despite the feeling of being used and disposable, it was fun. I made it a game for myself too.

A warm tingling seeped into my gut, heady and joyous, like the first bonfire in summer, and I placed my arms around his neck. We were drawing attention to ourselves, so Irial began to move us to the edge of the room and away from onlookers. His hands had planted themselves on my right hip and the curve of my side below my ribs. It was electric, and delicious to lose myself to pleasure with no strings attached.

Well, that wasn't entirely true. If I knew Irial like I thought, he would use this time to feed so he wouldn't leave such a trail in his wake, and because I couldn't become addicted, but I could still enjoy the blissful ignorance of his high, I was the perfect meal. I no longer was self-conscious of the tight dress I wore or the heels I didn't think I could walk in and I felt like the most desirable person in the room. I wasn't someone to be envied, I was someone people wanted, and that was a wonderful thing to be.

My hands had unwound from Irial's neck and encompassed his torso as my hips pressed against his in a desperate need to be in motion. Irial moved from my mouth to my neck and back up as his hands tightened on my hips, firmly stopping me while still keeping me in a state of sensual desire and passion. When his lips found mine again, I felt him swallow my fear, my doubt, and everything negative that had made me second guess myself. I sighed and melted into his touch once more as wings no one else would see wrapped themselves around me in a soft but firm embrace.


	5. Chapter 5

Irial stopped feeding when my negative emotions were gone and some of the positive ones too, until all I felt was blissfully unaware. I looked into his eyes and I wanted to thank him but knew that uttering those words would further indebt me to him. Instead, I smiled and pecked him on the cheek as he released me and drew me into his nest of women, placing me next to him on the lounge.

He checked to make sure the women were occupied in highs of their own and whispered a question to me. "I see you've been playing with fire, so where is your vampire, now?"

The question should have made me tense but I was still under the thrall of Irial's touch that I answered immediately. "He's off getting me another drink, and maybe his own too," I said. "He made me angry," I pouted like a child and drew a chuckle from Irial beside me. He put an arm around my shoulders and drew me close in a familiar way, but without the underlying sexual current of him feeding. It was warm and nice but it wasn't the comfort I was looking for.

"Enjoy it while you still can, Highness," Irial told me while he rubbed circles on my side and back. I looked up at him questioningly and was about to ask when he pressed a finger to my lips, silencing me. I drew in a breath of him, spicy and tangy and sweet, the Darkness embodied, and let it out. If he could smell so enticing he probably knew I had a vampire escort before we had danced, and with Faerie sight, he could see the bite marks I had done my best to cover up. None of that mattered until the light around me changed.

A shadow had covered a light that was in our little corner and a harsh voice had directed something, a question or statement I was at a loss, at Irial in Swedish. The jumble of words was repeated and thought I was sure he understood what the person was saying, he didn't respond, just pulled me tighter to him and put a scowl on his face. The other women were becoming aware of the commotion and coming out of their stupors, and some were trying to push the invader out of our circle and away.

I thought it was someone jealous of the attentions Irial was receiving from so many women, but I should have known better. I settled into Irial's arms just as the man changed their position and the light he had blocked completely which had covered their features suddenly showed them in stark relief to the darkness in the club. Eric, angry and confused was standing over me with drinks in hand trying to make sense of the situation he had walked in on.

Part of me wanted to invite him into this circle, he could attract many more women and Irial could leave, sated and full without having to put effort into finding people to feed on. Another part of me wanted to spurn him in front of these people and send him on his way, I would take care of myself. Just thinking that way made me come to my senses slightly, and I realized I was being selfish and self-destructive. I pulled away from Irial slightly, and he seemed to understand but he left his arm lightly around me, offering me peace and safety for the night if I chose.

I bent over to kiss his cheek as thanks, and whispered, "I needed that just as much as you did." I stood, between the harem of women surrounding Irial and Eric, then I tugged my dress down in a show of modesty that was out of place, and marched back to the table we had been at before Irial had scooped me up. It had been occupied by some young men but at my approach, and no doubt with Eric at my back still fuming, they were up and looking for a new place to watch people from.

I sat again, and Eric faced me, standing a moment more before sitting across from me. Trying to skewer me with his eyes had no effect on me other than my own withering gaze to match his. We were silent in the midst of the cacophony of music and talking while I sorted through my thoughts to put words to my feelings. I was quickly coming down from Irial's touch and became frustrated in new ways.

"If I told you that was an old lover of mine, would it endear him to you, or make you more jealous?" I questioned Eric from my stiff and uncomfortable chair. He had heard me and was taking his time in answering or forming his own question. I prodded more. "Does it upset you that I would go back to something I've already given up when I'm still trying to figure out how to fit you in my life?"

"Yes," was his quick and short reply. I nodded curtly and drew in a breath. "What is he to you now?" Eric asked before I could tell him how the situation had happened in the first place.

"Excuse me," I said with a question in my voice. "How is it any of your business what he is or isn't to me?" I shot back.

"I-" he floundered then regained his cool demeanor. "It isn't. I suppose I should let you have your fun before we are truly tied to each other for eternity if I'm allowed the same accommodations."

I scoffed and widened my eyes. Whatever I would tell Eric now wouldn't help. It wouldn't make the situation better for my argument and it would only drive him toward Sookie instead away from her. I was losing a battle I hadn't been prepared to fight and I wasn't sure why it bothered me so much.

"Eric," I tried before continuing to get his attention. "Irial is fey, and he has never been my lover. I don't think he ever will be," I added trying to impart that he was not as important to me as the man I sat across from.

He didn't look at me, or even pretend to be listening. I kept trying anyway. "Eric, please listen to me. Irial was checking in on me for my brother, my other one, the human brother of the family I left to protect."

"So you go and kiss him as a greeting?" Eric asked incredulously.

"I was trying to remove myself from my emotions, Irial is still capable of feeding on emotions and touch," I said. "It meant less to either of us than it seems to mean to you."

"Is this because I didn't answer you when we left? Is this the cosmic punishment you would choose to inflict on me," he asked? Taken aback by his questions I stared, searching for the words I needed to answer him without pushing further away.

"I'm not punishing you, Eric, at least I'm not trying to."

"I do care for Sookie, more than almost any other human I have encountered. To deny that would not help me here. But I do not go back on the promises I make, Tristan. I will stand by you and learn to love you in a way that you can come to terms with, or I can simply be a trinket, collected for a necessary purpose but with little value or meaning, it depends on what you want."

I thought on that for a short moment, not truly long enough for the weight of his words to fully hit me before responding. While there was truth in what he spoke, there was also the information I had been looking for and would have to deal with sooner than later.

"I would like for you to have an active role in my life, Eric, and I want to find a place of peace and familiarity with you. I want a lot of things that I am not capable of having and it seems that we are at least in the same book, but we're on vastly different pages. I will work harder with the Elders on finding a solution to our problem and when I am secure in my sovereignty I will release you." The thought of how easily things were turned over to new rulers in the faery courts made me long for something similar but it passed just as quickly as I thought it. "I will not keep you tethered to me for an eternity, or any amount of time when you cannot commit to me or my people. I'm not asking you to choose, you've already done that but it's clear to me that you wish it could still have been Sookie. I can't share your attention and time with someone else, not as a ruler. So when I can rule without a husband or bedmate, you can be free, and have whomever you choose."

Eric sat pondering what I had said and glanced at me from across the table. It was important that we appeared united for the Elders and my people, but if I could motion and pass a law without leaving the planet, I would be able to leave without making Eric play out his role longer than necessary. I wouldn't make him stay when he clearly wanted to go. I would come to terms with the pain of that rejection when I had nothing else more pressing in front of me.


	6. Chapter 6

While I plotted how to exact the change I wanted, to allow me sovereignty alone, and Eric the ability to break his bond to me and pursue his desires, Eric sulked. We hardly talked and by my fourth drink, I decided I could focus better on matters in the quiet of our room. I made eye contact as we left, catching Irial by surprise I'm sure, but exiting to the street all the same. Eric hailed a cab and called the driver to cancel their plans and send them home for the evening.

The ride back to the hotel was quiet and stuffy. We didn't speak and the only time Eric engaged with the driver was to give him directions to the hotel and to pay him when we got out. It was a quarter past midnight when we finally walked through the suite doors and I kicked my shoes off beside the door and made my way to the low coffee table where my papers were strewn about. I bent, one hand on the couch to steady myself as I lowered my body to the floor.

Curling my legs up underneath me I looked through the papers while Eric went about undressing himself and flitting about the room. I found a document on how laws were passed and what was required in order to make them effective and heard Eric on the phone with someone from the hotel. At "wine" and "liquor" I stopped listening. I could use more to drink if only to numb the self-pity and apathy that was growing, cancerous and deceitful inside me.

Eric hung up the phone and moved to the bathroom, presumably to shower. I read through a few more pages and searched for something different because I wasn't finding a clear enough description to help me with my problem. I thought I had found solutions multiple times but came up with nothing each time. I would just have to go through how laws were made and start from scratch.

I stood, shaking my feet back and forth to relieve their tingly sensations and looked for my bag. I took out a paper and pen and began writing all I knew about laws coming into effect from my furiously fast research as I lowered myself to the table again. I would ask the elders the next time we met if they could find me and see if I had missed anything. I didn't hear Eric leave the bathroom or the door to the room open so I was surprised when he sat a glass of red wine down in front of me.

Shuffling papers together and setting them on the couch on top of my notes and pen, I picked up the glass and swirled it around letting it breathe before I smelled it and took a sip. Rich and velvety tannins filled my mouth and a sweet berry note finished the taste of wine I had. I wasn't sure if it was an expensive bottle or not and I also didn't know if it was old world or new. I stared at Eric over the rim as I licked my lips and gulped down another taste, completely unrefined or sophisticated. Disengaging from the royal title I so desperately was trying to attain, while still wanting to live a normal and pain-free existence. At least, that's what I was trying to tell myself.

He only rose an eyebrow and went to heat up another bottle of blood for himself, sashaying in silk boxers all the way to the bar. Abstinence it was, then. I sighed and rose, walking to the bar and poured myself another glass while keeping resolute eyes on my hands. I gulped this one down almost as quickly and poured another, then took my time sipping as I walked about the room. I found spare sheets, a blanket, and pillows in a closet and made a mental note as to where they were when I was ready to sleep.

Eric kept a watchful eye on me, as though I were in a mental hospital for observation or a suicide watch. The longer we kept up this charade the harder it would be to appear united when the time came. I was tired of playing games and I wanted to shout and scream and break things just to release the tension I felt. None of this had gone the way I had planned or wanted it to. I felt broken and alone standing ten feet from Eric as his eyes met mine, and he must have felt my swirling emotions because I still didn't know how to control the blood bond entirely.

I sniffled and sipped on more wine as I felt tears prick at my eyes. Derek was dead and I had taken the next lover in line, albeit it was unexpected, and unfortunately necessary. I wasn't sure if my brother was plotting his next move or waiting for me to go running out into the open and offer myself up. I wasn't ready to be a queen and I certainly wasn't ready to take over the responsibilities that were now my duty to fulfill, even if I had been fighting for them in order to save a people that may not even know I was still alive.

"Goddess, help me," I whispered to myself as I made my way back to the couch and sat, trying to think of anything in the world that would make me feel like I had control. Everything seemed to be spiraling around me and the only thing I could do was manipulate water in most forms, and change my body's constitution. And then I found what would focus and ground me at this moment.

In my blue cocktail dress, curls falling faster by the second and a glass of wine in hand, I leaned into the couch. I focused on slipping into my truer nature and shedding the appearance of a human. Although my race was similar in many aspects, we were designed for space travel and were far less breakable than humans could be. It was what made all the scars decorating my body like artwork more terrifying and repulsive. The damage we could inflict and receive was something akin to vampires and most Weres, but like humans, we scared and showed our damage to our skin, too.

I had lost myself in focusing on the transition and slipping between forms, unaware of Eric coming closer and eventually sitting across from me. I ticked off each scar I felt raised across my skin, when and how it was inflicted and thought of the many scars across my back that I couldn't reach and the vulnerability I was forced to display in order to receive them. My emotions bubbled up again and I tightened them down to focus on controlling my appearance.

I was almost calm, in a state of mind like the calm before a storm, when I felt Eric's hand on my ankle, carelessly stretched across the couch. Except in my head, it wasn't Eric touching me, it was Kayden. My nerves shot to attention and from inside me rather than the sink across the room I crafted a blade and held it to his throat, even with my eyes closed I was sure I had made my target. The hand stopped touching me and was removed as I moved to protect myself and finally opened my eyes.

Eric stared back at me, a statues immutable expression locked in place. I drew the blade back and dissolved it into myself and pushed back against the fear I had felt and the memories that threatened my sanity.

"I'm sorry," I said, robotic and monotone. A curt nod from Eric and I noticed my glass of wine was on the table, instead of my hand where I last remembered it being. I flipped my legs to the floor and stood, smoothing out wrinkles that weren't there from my dress. As I walked toward the closet with the extra linens and began to take them out. Not a second after I had begun Eric was behind me, a presence that would have been overwhelming if I hadn't grown up with my brother.

"What are you doing, Tristan," he asked carefully? I didn't respond, just kept taking things out. "Stop, please."

"Why?" I asked him. "So you can try to 'fix' this? I don't think it would be wise to work on this when we are both clearly not interested in the same ends."

He let out a breath in a huff, and moved to turn me around.

"I wouldn't," I said shortly. "We wouldn't want a repeat of earlier now, would we?"

"Tristan, I don't see what this attitude is helping. We can still work toward the same ends, for a time," he said in response.

I just shook my head and gathered the pillows and blanket as I strode to the couch, prideful and willfully arrogant. I made up a little bed across the couch and realized my sleep clothes were in the bedroom. Because I was avoiding it like the plague tonight, I decide to improvise. I began to unzip my dress and slip it down. In just my bra and panties, I slipped under the blanket and removed my bra before curtly turning away from where Eric stood watching me.

"Good night, Eric," I said. I didn't expect him to respond and I closed my eyes willing sleep to find me. I heard Eric walk into the bedroom and pull the sheets back across the bed. He left the door open, an invitation to come to him if I broke. I scoffed internally and let myself think of crystal clear waters on white shores. Trees taller than redwoods towering above me and my planets view of our moons. I was bathed in light and I felt weightless. My worries were carried away on a stream while I soaked up moonlight and breathed deep the heady woodsy scent of my home through my dream.


	7. Chapter 7

I slept peacefully for the most part. I dreamt of the only happy memories I had from my past life. When my parents had taken my sister and I on a picnic to the lake a few miles from our castle. Our forests were incredible and breathtaking and a favorite memory of mine. I wasn't confined to the castle walls or my chambers. I could experience the world as I knew it and explore my powers without my brother watching my every move.

I woke and didn't put together that I had been creating while I slept. Snow drifts and icicles surrounded my inert form. I struggled to throw off the stupor of sleep that still clung to my mind and pushed snow from my side, watching it fall as if in slow motion. I sat up and looked around at all I had done and let out a small gasp of surprise. I had done that? While I slept no less. Was I more powerful than I thought myself capable before?

Shoving the blanket off and moving to stand in the drift beside me I saw the rest of the room. There would be no way to explain this to the housekeepers so after checking that I hadn't forced ice and snow into the bedroom I began to shovel as much as I could into the tiny bar sink with the water running. I then moved some into the bathroom filling the floor of the shower in minutes.

With the exception of the icicles still clinging to the ceiling, I had less than 3 cubic feet of snow to get rid of. As I continued moving things about in the main room I took notice of my body, and that I was mostly human and still only in panties, but I wasn't cold. I wasn't overly warm either. I forgot to check the time and scared myself half to death when I ran into Eric watching me from the doorway of the bedroom. I had a large heap of snow in my arms and covering my breasts but Eric zeroed in on them, anyway.

"I see you were busy while you slept," he stated dryly. I nodded, unsure of what he would say next if anything. "Did you know you could do this?"

I shook my head. "No."

He nodded once and began to move around the room. He had probably already seen the shower and sink in the bathroom and was looking incredulously at the bar sink then asked, "Where were you planning on putting the rest of it? Even I can see that the running water isn't melting it fast enough."

"Well, I-" Floundering for what to say, I tried to think of somewhere I could take what was in my arms. "I could place it on the balcony and let it run off, maybe," I finished lamely. I was out of other options and the water wasn't melting fast enough for me to place more in any sink or shower.

Eric turned, casting a cursory glance across the room and seeing how much, and at the same time how little was left for me to dispose of. His shoulders lifted in a sigh he didn't have to make, and he met my gaze.

"Could you not reabsorb it?" He asked me calmly. Unsure if I could I kept quiet and thought about it, drawing my eyes away from his so I wouldn't stumble on my words when I chose to use them again.

"Possibly?" I questioned myself out loud. "I've never tried to consume this much into my being. I don't know that I can," I finished as I moved with the small stack of snow and ice into the bathroom to push more onto the shower floor.

Eric hadn't moved from the doorway for more than the space I needed to get to the bathroom. He watched me as I tried fruitlessly to push more into the steaming water of the shower head. When I was done fighting the solid snow I moved back to the couch, gathering the last of what was still malleable and drawing it to me. I had even tried to fill the ice bucket with some of the snow but it was so small it wasn't worth the effort I would have put into it.

I sat on the edge of the couch. I didn't want to overextend my abilities while standing and have Eric come to my rescue. I was still bitter about the nights' turn of events and I wanted to prove to myself, more than Eric probably, that I knew my capabilities and how to take care of myself. I took a deep breath and concentrated on drawing the snow I had created into my being. It was different than how I focused when creating, a blade or whip of water and ice. Even reabsorbing those things I had knowingly created was easier to me than what I did now.

The process went slowly, and at first I couldn't bring anything in, just kept it from melting all across the papers and floor or my lap. Eric stood, watching from the doorway. He didn't offer help or support, but he didn't distract me with needles questions or comments and for a time I forgot that he was watching me. I centered my thoughts and focused on the feeling that enveloped me when I had drawn something back into myself. It was a prickly sort of feeling at first that turned into something soft and velvety across my skin. When I figured that out, the frozen snow and icicles began to absorb into my body as surely as I had made them while conscious.

I heaved a sigh of relief when the last of it was either absorbed or melted under the steamy water from the bar or bathroom. Eric said nothing to me as I turned off each sink and the bathroom shower and he didn't stop me as moved across the suite and back to my makeshift bed on the couch. I nodded in his direction while I again covered myself and began to lay down to sleep when I heard him whisper softly, "I knew you could do it."

I wasn't facing him and I was almost positive that he didn't know I had heard him. I smiled and felt a blush climb my cheeks as I faced away from the bedroom and let out a breath I hadn't meant to hold. I held back a tiny chuckle and breathed a "Thank you," as I adjusted the blanket, so he wouldn't be sure if I had said anything either. I was a mess of emotions and I knew they would get me hurt, but Goddess, did I want that pain moreover than I had wanted anything to do with being of royal blood or having the ability to manipulate water and ice. _Stupid girl,_ I thought, _you will get yourself killed if you aren't careful._

My dreams were just as pleasant, but instead of memories of a life I could no longer have, they were the threads of possibility between Eric and I. Things that could become, if given half a chance. I wouldn't break so soon after being so upset, but my dreams were my own, and I would enjoy them instead of being spiteful to myself.


	8. Chapter 8

I woke in the morning to room service Eric had ordered for me, and was surprised at how attentive he had been. There was also a handwritten note of apology on the table next to my notes in beautiful script that read: _Forgive me for the harsh behavior and reactions I had this first night here. There is still much I don't understand, and coming to terms with this new reality has been harder than I expected. I hope that your breakfast will soften your heart toward me that we might talk more when I rise this evening. –E_

Torn between wanting to crumple the paper and display it proudly next to my own hard work, I refolded the paper and began to eat while reviewing more documents. As the morning progressed into afternoon I had a simple draft of what it was I wanted to put into a law, and what was already in effect on separate pieces of paper. Although I hadn't found anything that was in effect and met all of my needs, I knew there were a few that were possible but still long shots.

One law left me in control only if Eric, Kayden, and Adria were all dead. Another left the power with me if Eric abdicated but would still leave me in contention with Kayden, and put in the position to prove myself a worthy ruler. Still another law would give me complete ruling power without the need for Eric, Kayden, or any other bedmate if I could defeat either one or all others claiming a right to rule or those chosen as a requirement for my ability to rule. None of those options were appealing or even seemed likely to work out in my favor, and the option I kept returning to was to create my own law, while simultaneously revoking or dismembering the previous laws surrounding the legitimacy and right to rule without a mate.

The workings of a few different possible laws were still scattered on pages of my notebook and I worked to condense them to a few pages to make it more coherent and likely to become usable. I was worried that I wouldn't understand enough about how to write laws and what goes into them for this to work, but knowing Eric and the many contracts he had likely signed in his long existence, I was likely to come up with something passable with his help.

I took a break and practiced my creative skills in the bathroom and went down to the hotel's highly recommended restaurant for a late lunch before returning and refocusing my efforts on what exactly I needed out of a new law and what I needed its purpose to fill. Eric rose shortly before full dark and came to sit with me while looking over what I had gone through. It was possible there were more documents I could look over that had better information for me than what I had been given, but without contacting the elders and stating exactly what I was looking for I would be searching blindly.

Eric revised some of my notes and tightened up the language to ensure it was not misinterpreted. Some of the mistakes I had made were because I was tired and not fully aware of what I was writing, while others were obviously my inexperience. It was slightly more awkward than I had planned at first, but I warmed up and allowed Eric to see that I was moving past his reservations and focusing on the common goal. He sat close enough to touch if we had been playful enough, but I wanted to focus primarily on business to ensure that the results we mutually wanted were executed when the time came.

Eric hadn't made plans for us this evening and Irial hadn't contacted me for any further questions so the night was ours to decide what to do with it. I wanted to talk about what had happened about as much as I wanted to toss it out the window in an iron clad box with shackles and a lock without a key, but the former was more likely to happen. I knew that the next night we were leaving for Finland and the gorgeous igloos you could watch the Northern Lights from your bed in. To go from this giant room to something so small and enclosed, after we had a disagreement that left us thus far unable or willing to talk about it, seemed too soon, and yet that was the plan. So tonight, we would order in and talk about the difficult things that hurt and made me feel things I would rather forget.

As I got up to pour myself a glass of wine from a new bottle delivered this evening, I turned and looked at Eric from the bar. "Would you like a drink?" I asked casually. "I can heat something up for you if you'd like." He met my eyes and shook his head once, not in a gesture as if to clear his thoughts, but rather, an expression of doubt and his own sense of being unsure.

"Thank you, but I might order in," Eric said politely. His eyes never left mine, he was testing the boundaries to see what I would allow and was comfortable with. I knew the nourishment was the same, basically, but it was much tastier and sometimes if the donors were boosted with vitamins and other immunity-boosting things, better for the vampire. I shrugged and came back to the couch with my glass of wine.

My expression wasn't as carefully guarded as I had hoped, but I knew that Eric recognized I was trying, and really, if we were trying to get rid of each other, continuing the façade of having emotions for one another wouldn't help. I watched as he picked up the phone from the end table next to his seat and dialed the desk to request a donor.

"Yes, blood type O- please, female if available. No? Male will be fine," Eric said politely as he finished the conversation and hung up the phone. He had been watching me from the side all the while, and I had quietly sipped away at my wine, trying to keep my emotions in check and my heartbeat from showing my feelings either. I wouldn't say I was successful, just that I wasn't as obvious as I had been before.

"Eric," I said, having worked up the courage to talk about what had happened the night before. "I understand that while we were out last night, you were protecting me and you put yourself at risk to ensure my safety by coming with me rather than finding an escort for us both. Thank you."

Eric looked at me as he turned to face me from across the couch, and thought for a moment before he looked as if he were going to speak. As his lips parted, a quiet knock sounded at the door, and he rose to open it. The male donor they had sent was beautiful but looked so young that I felt rude for staring. Eric led him to the couch, and he sat between us as Eric prepared himself to feed. This was less jealousy inducing, but to watch this young man enjoy the ecstasy and euphoria from Eric's bite while I sat beside him and drank wine the color of his blood, made me glad that there were no female donors available.

Eric didn't feed long from him, but he drank deeply enough to leave the donor in need of help to the door and some water and snacks before sending him on his way. The already pale complexion he was born with had become sallow and reminiscent of a cancer patient instead of a donor. I sometimes forgot how fragile humans could be while I became less and less of one every day.

Before I could lose my nerve again, I tried to open up the conversation before we fell into another bout of silence. "I realize that it is difficult for you," Eric began before I had a coherent thought. "To watch me feed from someone else, not because I am feeding, but because of how intimate it is. But Tristan, I need you to know, I drank only enough to be sated for a small time. Humans are too weak to be a meal without nearly draining them."

I stared at him, unsure of what he was saying exactly, and asked for clarification. "Do you need a bottle or two more? I can fix that up if you're still hungry," I said, rising to return to the bar. Eric's hand on my wrist stopped me before I was standing and drew me back to the couch beside him, closer than I had been before he had fed.

"Tristan," Eric started. He stopped, watching me to see my reaction to what he had to say. "If you are willing, Tristan, may I feed from you?"

My lips twisted into some expression I couldn't fathom and I kept my eyes fixed on the collar of Eric's shirt. He was a very clean eater, and that is a feat when the only nourishment he has comes from a bottle or a person. Crisp, clean cotton met my eyes and I blinked to clear them and answer his question. I lifted my gaze to meet his stormy blue-grey eyes, still unsure of what I would tell him. I was confused and wanting, but that was my problem and not Eric's.

"Yes," I said finally. "On one condition, though." Eric quirked an eyebrow, his eyes lightening in interest. "Don't make it feel good. I need to know how painful it can be. If it becomes too much for me, I'll let you know, but I want to know what could happen. With anyone else."

Eric's eyes darkened as I finished and he set his lips as though he wanted to argue. I could see he was uncomfortable about it, but there were so many things about our relationship that weren't normal, even for vampire standards or any supernaturals. He decided against an argument for whatever his own reason was, and placed a hand behind my head, grasping my neck and the bottom of my skull before looking into my eyes on last time to be sure.

When he struck I didn't see the movement. I wish I could say I didn't feel him bite, but I would be lying. True, his fangs were razor sharp, and the initial puncture was almost painless but when they slid past that and he began to suck at the wounds, I could feel how tender all the muscles were around my neck, and the angle at which my head was pulled strained the muscles further. As painful and frightening as it was to be without the numbness and euphoria, the pain I suffered now was nothing compared to the humiliation and defeat I had lived with from my brother. It gave me a frame of reference for how I reacted to things and I knew that if I could disassociate, remove myself from my memories and keep them from interfering with my present, I could face nearly anything.

Eric drank greedily and lapped at the stains my blood would have made as it dribbled across my collarbone and down to my breast. I sat back into the couch, not entirely motionless, but not whimpering and weak either. Eric's eyes met mine once, checking to see if I had lost myself in the pain or could go on further. I nodded slightly, and he continued, feeding until he was sated and full. I don't know how much he took from me, but as he finished, he cleaned me meticulously, and sealed the wounds before righting himself beside me. We sat together silently as he cleaned himself up, with the small mess, and I thought about how to approach him with my thoughts. It would be difficult after his feeding, but simpler because he wouldn't be distracted by that while we talked either.


	9. Chapter 9

Before Eric could sideline the conversation I was still hesitant to have I set my glass of wind down on the coffee table and turned to face him. I said a silent thank you for not having spilled the blood-red wine on any of the furniture or the carpeting, hoping my luck would carry me through this conversation. I met Eric's eyes while still deciding what to say and drew in a small breath then let it out, grounding myself and focusing on the pain I was beginning to think wouldn't fade from Eric's feeding.

"Eric," I said cautiously. "I wanted to talk about last night and I didn't want to have you distracted by your hunger or for either of us to be in too emotional a state." He nodded, keeping his eyes distant and focusing on my hands rather than my face.

"I understand your reasoning for the choices you made, and I apologize for making you upset and leaving you feeling unappreciated. I was frustrated and confused by your lack of an answer and I know that is because I've grown attached to you. More so than I anticipated and I don't want my attraction to you to jeopardize my rule or the livelihood of the people I am supposed to protect and defend. As a Sherriff, I know you can understand, but that doesn't make it any less insulting."

Eric continued to stare at my hands as I wrung them nervously in my lap, trying to stop fidgeting and patiently wait for him to respond. I folded my fingers together and sighed, chest heaving while Eric continued in silence. I couldn't tell if he was drawing this out to make me uncomfortable or to test me and see where my patience would end. If that was the case I decided I needed to settle in and wait.

Picking up my glass from the table and taking a sip, I swished the wine in my mouth to coat each part and leave my lips feeling puckered. As I swallowed I twirled the contents of my glass and watched it spin around dizzyingly. Eric was still silent but I could see him thinking, almost feel the gears turning over what his response could be and what reaction would be best. It hurt just a little bit, knowing that he was posturing and figuring out the best course of action, but it wasn't unexpected. I had to come to terms with the fact that this would be our reality, sharing duties and business strategies until we could collaboratively and decisively work out an arrangement that didn't require us to be tied to one another any longer.

I took another sip and looked at Eric again, after waiting a minute more. His eyes were watching my face now, and when we locked gazes I was overwhelmed by the feelings he pushed toward me through our bond. He was conflicted about something, and still upset, I could feel his own attraction to me and the sense of duty and camaraderie he felt when I had spoken about taking care of my people. I felt love, too. I wasn't sure if that was meant for or directed at me. It could be residual feelings of euphoria, it could be his feelings for Sookie or Pamela, but I was coming to terms with Eric loving someone other than me. Infatuation and love are so similar at the beginning of a relationship, tryst or anything similar.

When Eric was sure I had gotten everything he had intended for me to feel, he began to speak. "Tristan, I understand your choices and that they were made in reaction to me. I cannot change my feelings for Sookie, and I will not break the vow I have made for you, but if you both cannot get along it will be much more difficult. I want to be here for you as you need me, and I understand that I can't replace Derek. The intensity and depth of your feelings for him, the relationship you two must have had is something I cannot compete with, even if Sookie were not a consideration," Eric said quickly.

"But," I asked?

"But you are something truly special. I will cherish the time we spend together but I agree that we need to find a different arrangement if you and I are to rule over your people effectively. I should not distract you with feelings I have or am struggling with and you should be free to choose the path best suited for you, however long I am entwined within it," he finished. It hurt, and I was being petty I knew, but I understood why he had said those things and he wasn't wrong. If we weren't meant for each other then there was no point continuing a false relationship, even if it is what the people wanted from me.

"Thank you," I whispered softly. I set the glass of wine, now nearly finished back on the table and pulled my legs up in front of me, hugging them to me as I processed what we had both said. I couldn't be selfish and demand that he forget Sookie, and he couldn't keep me from finding my comfort elsewhere. I felt disjointed and unconnected to anything in this world anymore. It was odd and strangely satisfying but it was lonely. While I had spent a lot of time alone, I had never been truly lonely. There had always been something or someone I was connected to, now the only universal connection I had was to the siblings that were hunting me mercilessly. I was off center and I needed to find myself a point where I could regroup and figure out my next steps, aside from making my rule alone a lawful and sovereign thing that could not be taken from me.


	10. Chapter 10

I felt Eric's gaze more than I wanted and debated sitting longer in my childlike position or moving around the room, possibly going out to roam the streets for some self-discovery and centering. I chose to move. I gathered my energy and walked into the bedroom, opening drawers to find the clothing I wanted, what I was wearing wouldn't do.

Eric remained on the couch, silent and solitary. I wasn't sure what exactly he was thinking, and I didn't want to dwell on it more than necessary. I changed into some tight jeans and a long sleeved shirt, tossing on a sweatshirt as I left the room. I wanted to go straight to the door and leave without an explanation, but I had to be more mature than that, more careful too.

"I was thinking of going for a walk, maybe finding a restaurant for a late dinner," I said to Eric. "Would you care to join me? I don't really know the city, but I think I can manage if you would rather stay in."

Eric made a face that disagreed completely with me and stood. "Don't be silly, Tristan. I'll come with you, it isn't safe wandering the streets at night no matter the city. Especially when you-" he stopped. I wasn't sure if he was complimenting me or insulting me and decided better of it. "Especially for young women inexperienced in hand to hand combat." Eric finished.

I shrugged, unwilling to remind him I was trained in hand to hand combat, I was just out of practice. It wouldn't get him to back down and would make it more difficult to assert myself when the time came.

A few blocks from our hotel, I found a restaurant I was curious about that didn't mind casual wear and latecomers for an evening meal. The food was hot, delicious, and it gave me more energy to put toward the problems I was actively avoiding. While Eric sat companionably as I ate, I couldn't help but think about the conversation. I had no reason to feel like I was losing something important by choosing to rule without him or find a way to at least. I had no reason to be jealous of Sookie, the universe had thrown Eric and me together and I wasn't so sure that we were supposed to be, but Sookie and Eric had a different chemistry, one that despite their arguments and stubbornness seemed to fit more appropriately into their lives.

We continued walking after I finished my meal, Eric leaving a nice tip for the server, and he showed me different points of interest in the city. This only made things more difficult. My feelings began to jumble around me, listening to Eric describe the history of Stockholm, the beauty in its simplicity. Each island community and every aspect of the neighborhoods we walked. It was like being on a date. An international date with a long-term, foreign boyfriend. Someone I wanted to spend more time with and get to know better, instead of someone I was trying to disengage from and keep at a distance.

Our time out lasted more than a few hours, and I was reluctant to return. I wasn't sure how the sleeping arrangements would go, and I wanted some time to myself, to fully categorize what my emotions were telling me. It seemed that would only happen in the shower, but I could still be productive.

Eric led us into the suite and reached for the television remote. I didn't object and he found something to put on as background noise. I don't think he was truly watching or interested in what was on, but then again, any show with fast cars and high price tags probably could catch his attention at some point. When I was satisfied that he would leave me be, I went into the bathroom to shower.

As the water beat down on me and steam filled the room, I focused on what I felt about Eric. Did I love him? Could I love him? Was I simply desperate for a connection to someone that wouldn't betray me? Did that connection have to be romantic? There were no easy answers to any of these questions, but I may as well answer them one at a time.

Did I love Eric? I didn't' think so. It was too soon for such a committed word, and honestly, our personalities were incredibly different. Could I love him or grow to that point? Possibly. There were so many things that made it difficult to decide, like Sookie's involvement, the need for Eric and I to be joined until such a time that a law was found or created that negated our relationship for anything other than our desire for each other. Did I want a connection to someone that I could trust, someone who wouldn't betray me and hurt me as my own family had? Absolutely, but finding and attaining such a relationship was unrealistic for me, even if Eric was willing to try.

Which left me with the last question, did it need to be a romantic connection or would a platonic connection suffice? Was I so starved for love that I was looking in the worst places for it? I would have argued that I didn't need a romantic connection at all, it was a plus, something extra that was nice. But as I thought more about it, I knew that what I had with my adoptive family, my brother and our friends, those platonic relationships weren't enough. I knew these people cared, and I wanted it to be enough. I wanted to feel special and important to someone all on my own, too, though. Like I had been with Derek.

I shivered, realizing that I had let the water get cold, at least I thought I had. I reached out with my hand and drew it back, instead sensing with my powers what the temperature was through the pipes. It was still as hot as when I had started my shower, so I must be affecting the temperature. I was allowing my emotions to control my power, and in doing so had changed the temperature of the water. I watched as ice spread across the glass of the shower door, creating beautiful patterns and obscuring my sight.

Sighing I pulled back, controlling the emotions I was feeling and reversed the spread of the ice. I allowed the temperature to get back to normal and turned off the water, stepping out into the towel I had hanging for me. I dried off and put my clothes back on, realizing I hadn't brought anything to sleep with me into the bathroom. I found Eric right where I left him, watching a show with fast cars and loud engines galore. He turned to look at me as I entered the living space, and he smirked. I couldn't read what he was feeling but I chose to ignore it.

Rummaging around the drawers in the bedroom I found something I could wear to sleep in and began to undress. I wasn't wearing anything fancy or sexy, just a normal bra and pair of panties, so when I felt Eric's hands slide around me, I was more than a little surprised. Stopping my motions I stood, waiting for him to make a move. I wasn't sure if this was what I wanted, and maybe that's why he stayed that way, holding me for ten minutes before I decided anything.

I turned toward him, still in my underwear. Eric never broke contact with my skin, meeting my eyes with a questioning gaze. I tried to hide my shy smile and stopped myself. I was done hiding my wants and desires if it meant that I didn't live my life completely. I looked up, and up, and I smirked. As I watched Eric watching me, I slid one bra strap down, then the other. Eric reached behind me and undid the clasps, accepting the invitation.

As I slid off my bra and feigned modesty, Eric led me to the foot of the bed. His hands roamed my body, still learning the curves and planes of me, but becoming more familiar with each pass. The back of my knees hit the edge of the bed and I stumbled a little, Eric catching me only to push me down onto the bed as he fell beside me. His hands moved mine, letting my breasts fall exposed.

Eric flicked a nipple with one hand while brushing my hair back with the other. The evidence of his excitement showed as he strained against the linen pants he'd worn for the evening. I shivered and scooted closer to him, pressing against the arousal I felt growing against me. My panties moistened filling the room with my heady scent and pushing Eric further into his passion.

Eric yanked at my panties, ripping them from me and spreading my legs apart to touch my wetness, and slip his fingers inside of me. I was beyond caring about the messages I was sending to him, I was too involved in what Eric was doing to me. I was thrusting with his fingers, grinding against his hand while he bent down to suckle a nipple and slowly spin circles over my clit with his thumb. I bit my bottom lip, trying to hold back the sounds of my pleasure. Eric continued to tease my clit with his thumb while thrusting in and out of me with his fingers. I held back as long as I could and finally let out a stifled scream into the sheets, letting Eric quickly remove his clothes before hovering above me.

I shuddered in my orgasm, letting Eric watch it roll through me, and then I pounced. I threw my arms around his neck, drowning myself in his scent while our lips crashed and fought for control. I wrapped my legs around him, violently pulling him toward me as I tried to roll on top of him. It was a struggle that was made all the sweeter when he relented and laid back, allowing me to decide what happened next.

As I attacked his lips, again and again, his hands roamed my back, sides, and buttocks. My breasts hung bare and alert, nipples hard with my excitement. I rolled my hips back against him, not allowing him to enter until I was sure I would come a second time. As I teased him, Eric gripped my hips and left bruises where he held me. I was sure I wouldn't be able to walk tomorrow, or later tonight, but I didn't care. I slid my hand down between us and positioned him to enter me, savoring every inch of him that slid inside. I sighed contentedly before arching back and sliding along his length, watching his efforts to control his expressions and noises too. I ground my hips against his, taking in more than I thought I could, and slowed down to make it last longer. I built up so much tension between us that I fell forward and claimed his mouth once more, tongues dancing together while hands wandered roughly across each of us.

Eric slammed me down on top of him repeatedly, gripping hard and hitting every button I had. As he neared his end his fangs came out, and for a moment I could have panicked. I knew better though, this would not be the rough feeding, dispassionate and cool as before. It would hold the euphoria I craved, the dizzying satisfaction I wanted so desperately. As I bounced atop Eric's member my hands wound into his hair and pulled him toward me. Sitting up, Eric's hands slid around my waist, enveloping me in his presence, and shielding me from my doubts. I led him to a breast and he licked and sucked my nipple, waiting for the signs that I was ready to burst. As I reached my limit, I looked him in the eye, and he bit me.

I felt like I was flying, high as a kite on my endorphins and Eric's bite, feeling him finish inside of me while he sucked at my wound and held me close. I rocked back and forth trying to steal all of him while he was still inside of me, astonished I had been so blatant about my wants. While sex for some people was arbitrary, and nothing more than a negotiated past time, for me it was different. It was why I was reluctant to have a relationship at all, and letting go felt so freeing, I was worried I would lose all sense of myself.

Eric sealed my wounds and ran his hands across my body. He played in my tousled hair, he caressed my curves and didn't let me go. When our eyes met after our orgasms had stopped I didn't see a stranger in them anymore. I saw someone I could truly be with, that wouldn't run away from the responsibility or the hardships I would face. It lasted only a few seconds but it was long enough to make my heart jump into my throat. I leaned into his body and kissed him lazily, tasting my blood there, and finding I didn't mind it so much.

Eric kissed me back and rolled onto his side, keeping himself inside of me. We laid there entwined and connected in every possible way until exhaustion took me. On the edge of my consciousness, I felt Eric move us farther up on the bed, and draw the covers back to lay on top of me. I could have sworn I heard him whisper he loved me, but it was too much to expect, even after our passionate lovemaking, so I believed I was dreaming instead. That was the only thing I dreamt of as I slept.


End file.
